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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

We’re all about confidence.

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Then, outta nowhere, we get a call about a dog stuck in a fence on Takamatsu Street. I’m like, “What is this, a sitcom?” So, I grab my stuff and head over. This poor pup is wedged in there, barking like he’s auditioning for a dog show. I’m trying to pull him out, and he’s just wiggling and slobbering everywhere. I’m covered in mud, and I’m like, “This is NOT in my job description!”

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